


Invisible

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, invisible!dave au all up in hurr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2012-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:04:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Fuck!” You yell as loud as you can (not that anyone hears you) and punch the mirror, that stays fixed. You’re pissed for a lot of reasons. One, because that asshole Bro didn’t notice you never woke up and didn’t come to get you, two, because you have a whole day to do anything but can’t, and three, because you’re fucking invisible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. John Egbert

**Author's Note:**

> First AO3 story awwwh yeaaah.  
> Inspired by a tumblr post going around that has actually nothing to do with fanfiction like at all.

Your name is Dave Strider and you disappeared. No, you didn’t ‘go missing’, you honest to god disappeared. You woke up that morning and you couldn’t see yourself in the mirror. You tried to talk to Bro but he carried on as if you weren’t even in the room. As if he couldn’t hear or see you. This would make sense because now you’re a fucking _ghost._

 _Jesus how does this even happen?_ You think while trying (and failing) to splash water on your face. _Is this like some sort of part of being a person bullshit? Like everyone dreams of the day when their kid goes invisible for however amount of fucking time. Like “Hey Steve, how’s the kids?” “Invisible.” “Awesome.”_

“Fuck!” You yell as loud as you can (not that anyone hears you) and punch the mirror, that stays fixed. You’re pissed for a lot of reasons. One, because that asshole Bro didn’t notice you never woke up and didn’t come to get you, two, because you have a whole day to do anything but can’t, and three, because _you’re fucking invisible._

But you try to look on the bright side. You’re invisible. You can go anywhere and not be seen. And if memory serves you correctly, the cheerleaders at your school have practise today.

You thank god you don’t live too far from school and walk there.

When you get there, you’re almost at the locker rooms before you notice a black haired boy being picked on. You can’t remember his name, but you remember his face.

 _It was last year, maybe. Yeah, the beginning of last year. You’re at your locker putting books away and he’s pushed against a wall.  
_   
_He’s a boy in your grade, you think. Ink black hair, blue eyes, always wears this blue sweater with a symbol that looks like air.  
_   
_He’s pushed and the two guys start picking him. You’re disgusted, and you step in. You try to tell them to fuck off, but it ends in a fight. You win. They leave. The boy thanks you. You never speak to him again._

You look at the same boys bugging him again and once again wish you weren’t invisible so you could kick their asses.

You watch the boy get stuffed into a locker and wait with him until he’s finally let out.

You don’t leave his side for the rest of the day.

***

You learn his name is John Egbert. He’s smart and goofy and smiles a lot, despite being a bit of a loser. He has three friends. Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley, and Karkat Vantas. You learn he loathes cake and loves shitty movies.

By the end of the day, you know a lot about John. However you still find yourself wanting to know more. You want to know what gets him to make that huge toothy grin that makes his whole face light up. The one that makes even _you_ smile. You want to know what gets him to make that face and you wonder if you can. You hope you can.

So you follow him home. John lives in a nice house with his Dad. You add wanting to know why he doesn’t have a Mom to the list.

You watch as he complains loudly about his Dad’s baking and you follow him up the stairs to his bedroom.  He’s walls are covered in shitty movie posters and you feel like you’re intruding on his whole life but you can’t tear yourself away.

John does his homework like a good boy then goes on his computer until dinner. He talks his Dad out of baking more cake; however his Dad ends up making cupcakes anyways. John doesn’t have any and you think John’s crazy because those look fucking delicious. After that, he goes back upstairs and spends the rest of the day on his computer. He goes to bed early and you stay with him until you fall asleep on his floor.


	2. Breaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's an alternative chapter on my tumblr because I couldn't resist (http://kickdownthewallsaroundme.tumblr.com/post/14928350548/)

Your name is Dave Strider and you feel like the luckiest asshole on the planet when you wake up in John Egbert’s room still invisible.

You watch him sleep for a few minutes, which yeah is really fucking creepy, but he looks really adorable with his hair sticking up at odd angels and a faint smile on his lips and jesus when isn’t this boy smiling. He looks younger and you watch until his alarm clock goes off and he hits the button. You watch him get towels from a closet and wait by the door while he showers.

Seeing him naked is a whole new level of creep that you don’t want to get into. Plus it feels sort of wrong.

Everything about this is wrong.

Yet you continue to watch him get ready for school (avoiding the brief moment he was naked), watch him eat breakfast with his dad, and then you follow him to school. Today is the same as yesterday. He gets picked on and you get pissed, yet you still can’t do anything about it. Only at lunch does it actually get interesting.

He’s sitting at a table with his friends and they’re talking about nothing that seems of any importance until-

“Dave wasn’t here again today.” John comments like it’s the most normal thing ever and you basically shit your pants. Everyone else sighs deeply.

“John you have a problem.” Rose says.

“A fucking big problem.” Karkat agrees.

“What?” John and you laugh at the face he makes.

“You talk about Strider a lot for someone who has never had one conversation with the guy.” Rose tells him.

“Yeah and I’m sick of hearing about that fuckass.” You wonder why John, who is a huge child, hangs around someone like Karkat, who swears every sentence.

“Karkat don’t say that, Dave is probably a very nice guy.” Jade tells him. Karkat gives her a _look_ and she cracks a huge grin and holy shit how is she and John not related.

“He _is_ a great guy though! He looks all tough and asshole-ish but he’s a good guy!” John argues and you want to kiss him.

In a bro way of course.

Totally ironic.

But instead you scream, “I’M RIGHT HERE.” To which you get no response.

“Sure, whatever.” Rose sighs and changes the topic. John continues to smile like an idiot the whole time and looks right through you.

It’s the first time you’ve felt truly, truly lonely.

You want to punch someone in the face.

***

You follow him home again and he’s greeted by a crying father. You feel like a fuckwad for intruding on this moment because Dad’s don’t cry but you don’t leave. John’s going to need you and you’ll be here whether he sees you or not.

John’s crying before his Dad even gets the chance to tell him his grandmother passed away.

John looks like a lost little boy when he cries. You want to take his hand and tell him it’ll be alright and you’ll bring him home but that’s stupid on so many levels. You watch his Dad pull him into a hug and your eyes don’t leave John for however long they stay on the couch huddled together.

Once again you feel like you’re intruding on his life but can’t pull yourself away. You want to protect John from the world but you can’t.

What if you never become visible again?

What if you never actually speak to John?

Its dark out by the time John pulls himself away from his father. You follow him up the stairs and watch as he throws himself on his bed and breaks down all over again. He thinks he’s alone this time and it obviously is hurting him, so you sit beside him and whisper “John it’s okay I’m here” over and over. He doesn’t hear you. He never hears you. Now you’re crying too.

He doesn’t go back to school the next few days. He doesn’t do much of anything. He sleeps until noon and lies in bed for a few hours until he gets up to pee. Then he watches shitty movies until he falls asleep again.

Your heart is breaking for him and there’s nothing you can do about it.


	3. Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay look at me updating after a while  
> Also thanks for 50 kudos omg  
> Annnnnnnd sorry I couldn't figure out how to change the text and colour at the part yeah I suck

In a week John’s Dad talks him into going back to school. As he takes his morning shower (and even though you’d never admit it and hate yourself for thinking it, god he needed one) you finally have a moment to look yourself over.

Looking in the mirror still doesn’t work so you look down and find you’re in exactly what you fell asleep in the day you woke up a ghost. You were dead tired that day and you fell asleep as soon as you got home. You’re sort of thankful you did, because walking around naked would be super awkward whether people saw you or not. You check your pockets and find your phone. You wonder if it works.

6 texts from Bro. You’ll get to those later.

You put your phone away until an idea strikes you. John has pesterchum, you’ve seen him using it with his friends.

This could be your way to talk to John.

***

You follow John to school again and he’s pulled into hugs by Rose and Jade and even gets a pap on the shoulder from Karkat.

He barely talks that day.

Jade and Rose constantly try to cheer him up and mange to get a smile out of him and you realize you missed his smile.

“So has anyone heard from Dave?” John asks them at one point in lunch. It’s clear he wants to change the subject and you’re honoured he choose you.

“He hasn’t been back.” Jade answers as if she expected this.

“Really?” John looks worried and it tears you apart.

“Please John  _please_  I’m right here please notice me!” You cry out and dammit  _why did this have to happen now?_

“No one’s seen him in a while. It’s like he completely dropped off the face of the planet.” Rose adds.

“No I haven’t!” You scream.

“That’s terrible.” He says and looks down. He’s upset and it’s because of you.

“John please.” You whisper and wrap your arms around him. He doesn’t feel it. “Please please I’m okay, I’m with you.” You bury your head in his neck. You stay there until lunch ends and he gets up to do other things.

***

When he gets home he goes straight to his room. You follow him and watch as he logs into pesterchum.

His chumhandle is ectoBiologist. You add him.

 ** — turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:13 —  **

TG: hey ****

John looks surprised and you smile.

EB: uh who is this?    
TG: oh shit its dave  
TG: dave strider   
EB: oh wow hi  
EB: how did you get my chumhandle?   
TG: long story   
EB: okay.   
EB: why weren’t you in school?   
TG: could ask you the same question   
EB: how would you know I wasn’t in school if you didn’t go?    
TG: reasons  
EB: no.   
EB: that isn’t good enough.   
TG: fuck john youve got enough out of me already   
TG: besides if i told you you would never believe me   
TG: i can keep this one secret   
EB: why wouldn’t I believe you?   
TG: you ask too many questions   
EB: maybe you should answer some of them.  
TG: never mind  
TG: this was a stupid idea  
TG: bye john   
EB: wait.  
TG: what  
EB: I’m really gullible. can’t you just try to tell me?  
TG: what if i told you i woke up invisible one day  
TG: would you believe me then   
EB: that’s stupid.   
TG: exactly  
EB: please dave.   
EB: I’m all curios now.   
TG: john i already told you you won’t believe me   
TG: end of conversation  
EB: fine.  
EB: well why did you all of the sudden want to talk to me  
EB: or is that a secret too?

You grimace. You want to tell him so badly, but he just won’t get it.

TG: i just wanted to see if you were okay  
TG: i heard about your grandma  
EB: oh.   
EB: I’m fine.   
TG: are you sure  
EB: yes.   
TG: good  
TG: ill see you around then  
TG: bye   
EB: bye Dave ****

He gets off the computer when he sees you’ve logged out. He’s got that huge smile on his face. You realize he’s smiling because of you and you smile back.

You’re Dave Strider and you’ve never been happier to talk to anyone in your life


	4. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know how to awesome text chats  
> Also I may or may not have made Jade/Karkat a side on thing doesn't matter at all  
> Also may or may not might possibly always mean yes in fact that is a thing that is true  
> Anyways here's an update

Your name is Dave Strider and you’ve been invisible for exactly two weeks and it sucks ass.

A few times, John will log into Pesterchum and the mouse will hover over your chumhandle for a bit. He’ll have this look on his face as if he’s deep in thought. You put your lips by his ear and whisper “do it” over and over but he doesn’t he just sighs and gets off his computer entirely.

He does homework until his pesterchum goes off.

 **—  tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:45 —**

 **TT: John.  
TT: I have a matter that I would like to discuss with you.  
EB: hey rose!  
EB: what is it?  
TT: You said that Strider had contacted you.  
TT: I would like to know how that made you feel.  
EB: no way!  
EB: i will not talk about this stuff with you!  
TT: Jade, Karkat, and I have agreed that you have feelings you are not sharing with us about him.  
TT: We think you should talk about it.  
EB: then i’ll talk to jade.  
EB: where is she anyways?  
TT: She and Karkat are on a date.  
TT: They both said I should talk to you.  
EB: fine.  
TT: So tell me exactly how you feel about Strider.  
EB: i think he’s a great guy and i’d like to talk to him more.  
TT: And?  
EB: and that’s it.  
TT: You’re lying, John.  
EB: am not.  
TT: Yes, you are.  
EB: if you already know then why do you want me to tell you?  
TT: It’s all assumptions until you say it.  
EB: fine.  
EB: i may or may not like dave.  
EB: a lot.  
TT: Good.  Now tell me why exactly.  
EB: he seems really cool and nice and he helped me out last year.  
TT: What did he do?  
EB: some boys were picking on me and dave stepped in.  
EB: he told them they were assholes and that they shouldn’t even look at me again.  
EB: he told them he would always be around making sure no one touched me.  
EB: but he hasn’t been back yet and they have been picking on me.  
TT: John we had no idea.  
EB: yeah. i know.  
EB: i just wish he was around so they would stop.  
EB: maybe i could properly thank him.  
EB: i never knew how much he did just by standing there.  
TT: I’m sorry John.**

 ****

And then you tear your eyes away. You stare at John, taking him in.

John Egbert just admitted to liking you. You’ve seen him at his best and you’ve seen him at his worst. You know more about him than you think pretty much anyone does. His favourite colour is blue and so are his eyes. Unless he’s really really upset he’s usually smiling. He loves shitty movies and he lives in a nice house with his Dad. He likes computer programming and pranking despite the fact he isn’t very good at either. His smile is big and toothy and beautiful and you can’t help but smile at it. His Dad bakes cake like it’s a sport and John hates it. He thinks he’s an amateur magician and his chumhandle is ectoBiologist.

He’s smiley and derpy and happy and bright and he’s beautiful and innocent and pure and-

Oh god.

You may or may not like John.

A lot.


	5. No Things Are Permanent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied the last chapter is up today.  
> Great thanks too Quinn, Eric, Erin, Anne and Autumn for reading over the chapters and helping and shit.  
> Also Quinn for the cool drawing.  
> Thanks for over 80 kudos and comments and stuff.  
> And yeah thanks for reading.  
> Here's how it ends.

You’re Dave Strider and for the first time in two weeks you leave John’s side to go home.

You need to think. Okay, you like a boy whom you’ve only talked to once He likes you too. You are invisible. He is not.

You’re a lot more fucked then you realized.

Bro isn’t there when you get home. You’re first sign that something is wrong is that there’s not a smuppet in sight. Your second sign is that it’s quiet. There’s almost always some sort of sound in your house, even when Bro isn’t home. You try not to worry about it too much and make your way to your bedroom.

Unlike the rest of the house, it’s untouched. Bro probably didn’t even come in here.

You try to play with your turntables, but it doesn’t work. Sighing, you lay on your bed.

 _I never should have left John,_ you think. But you fall asleep in your bed anyways.

\---

Your alarm clocks wake you up and you don’t even bother trying to turn it off until you walk past your mirror.

You can see yourself.

Holy shit.

Holy _fucking_ shit.

You run to the mirror and grab both sides of it, going over every detail of yourself.

You can see yourself. You aren’t invisible anymore. Your hair needs to be cut, you’re dirty and you stink. But you’re fucking visible, and that’s all that matters.

So you rush through your daily routine you yell a quick “bye” to your sleeping brother and basically run to school.

You have to find John.

You _need_ to find John.

And you do.

He’s standing at his locker talking to Rose about something stupid.

He’s smiling and his eyes are bright and he looks over and notices you.

His eyes light up.

Oh god.

He whispers to Rose and points awkwardly and she smirks at him.

You walk in the opposite direction.

Tomorrow you’ll talk to him, you swear.

\---

Tomorrow comes, then the next day, and the day after that, and before you know it a whole week has gone by and the most you’ve done is try to approach him and chicken out.

He’s noticed you, though. He hasn’t said a word but after watching the guy for two weeks you know. You wish he would talk to you. You wish you could talk to him. And you hate yourself for continuing to wish this despite the fact that you can now. Sometimes you wish you were still invisible so that you could be close to him again.

You curse and kick yourself for waiting this long. This is something you have to do. You this owe to him. So at lunch, you walk to his table.

“E-excuse me.” You say awkwardly and cough. Rose smirks and John’s eyes light up.

“Did Dave Strider just fucking stutter?” Karkat asks.

“Shut up, Vantas.” You tell him and Jade laughs.

“No, I’m fairly sure Strider did just stutter.” Rose adds.

“I’m here to talk to John, okay.”

“Really?” He asks as if he’s not cool enough or something. You smile weakly at him because he has no idea.

“Yep.”

“Why were you gone so long?” He frowns slightly.

“I’ve been back for a while.”

He huffs. “Doesn’t change the fact you were gone for two weeks!”

“Invasion of privacy, bro.” You say and hold up your hand. Which is a mistake because you can hardly keep yourself from shaking.

“Wait! Before you start, I never got to properly say thank you for, you know…” He mumbles but keeps smiling. “I’m really glad you’re back!” He gets up and throws his arms around you and it feels so good to be hugged back for once.

“I’m glad I’m back too…”

He pulls back and gives you that bright smile that makes everything better and you realize that you caused him to smile that way. And that there is no way you are ever leaving John Egbert’s side again.

End

 


End file.
